Those rules apply to commercial shipments, sent via Cargo companies, and they are a real drag indeed.
However, no such hassle when private people send stuff via mail or courier, and also no such hassle if companies send small shipments via mail or courier.
As long as you are not asking to have VAT minussed, it should be smooth sailing.
I can't single out German suppliers, big or small, for any other reasons but the fact that I buy a lot from Germany, and therefore will bump into German simpletons once in a while.
Could say the same about the USA, where -also- one in 10 people won't ship abroad.