Weird/funny car purchase stories

[Tony66_au]

I have been buying cars since I was 15 or so, often seeing something in a really ordinary example of rusted, abused tin and I have bought some irredeemable junk along with some real hidden gems, made a lot of friends and trade contacts too from Tow Truck guys to car wholesalers and even exotica collectors.

I have bought the unloved bastard red head stepchild cars no body wanted and along the way had stuff happen that was off the scale of the weird shitOmeter and also funny as hell and id say I could write a book with the experiences I've had.

Maybe im just too jaded and cynical but when I get a new toy I keep in mind what I have been told re history of a car and then take environment and and previous owner into account along with any evidence I feel may be showing something that isn't as I was told.

Years ago I bought a car from a guy who was a little "Off" I felt and he gave me paperwork and a list of stuff done to the car to try and justify the asking price, problem was it wouldn't start on the day and I told the guy I wouldn't pay more than scrap for a car I couldn't hear running.

So the guy agreed to get it  running and get a mobile mechanic around who does an inspection on the thing and pronounces it dead and expensive to fix.

The guy calls back and agrees to sell the car at scrap and i generously give him $1000 because I feel a bit bad and paperwork done the guy asks when the tow truck is arriving and I tell him it should be soon and I was going to tinker so the guy gets a bit weird and insists we push the car out of his driveway and onto the road.

His weirdness did make me feel a bit better when I popped the bonnet, replaced the fuel pump relay and then drove the car 100 km home with my wife following.......

The car was so good I took a chance and put the car in for roadworthy testing and the following day had the car all transferred and in my name.

I was "Told" initially that the car had service history from a good independent mechanic and there was paperwork to confirm this and the mechanic was a known good workshop, the guys anal retentiveness also suggested he was fastidious.

His asking price was way over the top (8k) even though it was a good car but it died due to an almost new relay failing and the long winded report written by a hack mechanic because the owner was too tight to have it towed to his regular guy.

So all the evidence as well as the symptoms of the fault pointed that the car was good and the failure would be simple and not catastrophic as the mechanical report clearly stated.

The crown jewel was that the guy rang me 2 days later demanding the rego plates back saying he needed to cancel the registration on the car even though he had agreed to sell the car as advertised with registration and as the car was now legally in my name I told him that wouldn't be happening and the guy went off his nut.

As I was at my workshop not too far away I drove around to his home in the car he had sold me to show him the ownership papers all signed sealed and delivered and then stuck the knife in explaining that it was a faulty relay that killed the car, hopped in and drove away.

[Tony66_au]

This one came about because I was known to tinker and had a thriving backyard mechanical business going, an elderly woman came to see me about her grandsons car which was using a lot of fuel and was pouring out black smoke so I went back with her to pick up the car and took it back to the shop.

The car was a Hillman GT Hunter, and id had a few of these so assumed the carbys were out of sync so I ordered a kit and then checked the car out a little more as I hadn't been able to recreate the fault.

Apart from the carbys being a bit tired and out of whack the car was a jewel and I called the client and told her I couldnt find much wrong but I was going to kit and re balance the carbs anyway and give it an oil change as the oil was old.

Job done the elderly lady shows up and i take her for a run around the block a few times as she tells me this was her late husbands car and he used to look after it service wise etc and she was wanting to transfer the car to her grandsons name because he was getting fines and it was all a bit complicated.

So i promise to check the car and get it inspected and she drives away in the car promising to bring it back in a week when her grandson doesn't need the car to get to university.

Long story short I get a call from her saying the car was doing it again and her grandson took her car so could I come have a look again, Turns out the guy had been smoking bongs in the car driving to wherever and was pulling the Choke out half way to hang the bong on while driving.

How did i know? Because the guy had left the pipe hanging off the choke when he stormed off in a snit and it was right there when I got there lol

And as the old Duck used to drive the Hunter she knew what it did when you drove a warm car around with the choke half on................

She apologised, we both laughed and she offered me the car for $500 providing id take it there and then.

I suggested it was probably worth a bit more than that and she insisted so I drove the car back home and cleaned out all the rubbish into a box to drop back to her.

The Grandson rocked up lunchtime the next day pretending he was there to pick the car up saying his Grandma sent him, I suspected he wanted the half ounce stuffed under the seat and his pipe back so I called the old duck to see if she had changed her mind and she said she would be there shortly.

Turns out she wasn't happy especially when I walked out with the guys bong and half ounce in front of his grandma lol

I handed her the $500 she had asked and we both walked away happy.

[Tony66_au]

The Cheap Jag..............

I saw an advert in a local paper years ago for an XJS 5.3 V12 Jag for $3000, made a call and shot over to have a look although the advert said it had some parts missing.

I get to the house and the car is parked on the front lawn airing out on this lovely day and it looks immaculate!

As I get closer I note that it has no front seats or carpet but after pouring over the car for an hour and carefully driving the thing around the block I buy the car and arrange to have it towed home.

these cars were worth roughly between 8 and 15k at this time and I was told it was her ex husbands car so I buy the story and thing nothing more, Next day im off to the wreckers, buy 2 unmarked front seats from a wreck, fit them and run the car off for a roadworthy and transfer the car into my name.

2 days later and its a bright and sunny Saturday so I wander out to go for a quick blat in my new toy, open the car and proceed to be very very sick from the awful stench in the car.

So 10 mins later I lower all the windows and start making calls to the seller which keep getting hung up on.

Monday lunch I call my Jag wrecker and ask him to see if he knows who owned the car before me and later that day he calls to tell me the owner gassed himself in the car at his ex's place and wasn't found for a week..........

Mmmmm Soup.........

Took me 3 weeks, a headlining and a specialist to fume the car before we got the smell out and not a hint of soup remained even after leaving the car parked in the sun.

And it was still a cheap car.

[oversize]

Didn't you see that episode on Mythbusters Tony??  They put some dead pigs inside a Corvette and shut it inside a shipping container for a while..... Nasty!!  They later sold it for parts...

[Tony66_au]

Yeah I did and I have a lil story for you when we chat next.

Basically the seats took the bulk of the soup and they were gone with the carpet and underlay plus the floor had been bleached.

I pulled the rest of the carpet and trim out and cleaned that before replacing it all and when I had the car "Fogged" with Dead bloke Be gone spray it removed the remained of the smell in the interior and as I had sorted the car I then enjoyed it for a bit.

Eventually I sold the car which was in very good condition including full leather instead of velour and I told the purchaser the story and he seemed ok with it and i never saw the car again.

[Big_Richard]

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[TJ 450]

Pretty disgusting I have to say, but yes if it was at the right price I guess it wouldn't have been a bad purchase at all.

Tim

[foss]

Hahaha! Keep them coming Tony.

[Mforcer]

Yeah, great stories

[Tony66_au]

Tony, your Jag story is gross 

My dinner no longer feels at home in my stomach after reading that. If it was me who purchased the car i would of been horrified and gotten rid of it immediately.

Then again, Im just a limp wristed city guy who doesnt like getting his hands dirty, i guess they breed them tougher where you come from

LOL Oh yeah Glen Iris was the wild wild west when I was a kid...........

Honestly? If I had known or smelt a rat Id have walked away.

But later in life this experience led me to clean up far worse.

So I chalk it up to a learning experience.

[Tony66_au]

As the interweb is a relative newcomer I started my bargain hunting with newspaper classifieds and to gain an edge on pro wholesalers I would beg borrow or go to extraordinary lengths to get my hands on copies still wet with ink.

The Melbourne Trading post was my Paper of choice and before internet auctions it was THE definitive grab bag of bargains providing you made an effort to get it by midnight Wednesday when it first appeared.

So some quick footwork led me to the guys who delivered the papers to the newsagents and it came to pass that for a small gratuity Id secure a copy very early Thursday giving me time to sit and digest it finding my bargains.

Then it took a bit of guesswork to determine how early i could call and knowing the suburban phone prefixes id be in the area when i made my call AND I had a guy who did trade tows that kept his Thursday mornings free for me or was quick to show up when I paged.

And this was how I came to buy a nice old school CB900 Bol D'or (I think that was what it was) and 2 ex police bikes (Honda 750's) for $200....... and a pile of Motor bike lifts, tools and spares for another $200 in Carlton.

Later that day I went back with $500 and bought a Lancia Beta Coupe in mint nick and a Fiat 124 Sport with the engine in bits in the boot (And a complete car for spares) for $100 all from the same place.

Seems there had been a divorce and the guy had done something to annoy the ex so she went for the jugular and got his toys in the settlement, She told me he hadn't blinked an eye (He was occupied with his new girl toy) so she started selling them off and when I rang at 6am she was so delighted she showed me the rest of the toys and asked for an offer lol.

Did I feel bad?

Nope because if i hadn't bought it somebody else would have.

The 900 went like a bullet BTW but was scary to stop or turn so it was sold privately a month later and the Fiat had a full reco head, VRS kit, Cams etc in the boot so I got a mate to put her back together and sold it off too along with the parts car.

So I was pretty flush with a few days work and set my sights a bit higher with more cash in my pocket.

Not only was I making money but it was a hell of a lot of fun!

[Big_Richard]

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[Tony66_au]

It was all legal and above board MT, her Solicitor had some paperwork there and VicRoads recognised it as transfer of ownership papers with the only hassle being the existing rego which couldn't be transferred.

I did feel like a bit of a prick but a deal is a deal.

I did 3 deals like that over the years and they were not all that uncommon in the late 80's and early 90's and a wholesaler I knew made it a very profitable sideline.

And after he Ex Missus showed me pics of the new girlfriend I was pretty sure he didn't want to bother with club cars any more lol

[ziper1221]

that one story reminds me of this:

[Tony66_au]

Yeah "Soup" is a bugger to clean up 100% and the smell gets into fabrics and cant be shifted without professional know how.

A guy who does Coronial clean ups or Funeral director will know how but they charge hard.

Id be at peace with suicide cars or natural causes but a violent triple homicide?

Yeah pass on that one thanks...........